9.30.2007

I've officially given up on Family Guy

Yep, you heard me. I can't stands no mores!
Family Guy is officially an unwatchable pile of shit.
It's sad really -- it took the Simpsons at least twice as long to go sour.

Yes, the last season was pretty terrible. I'm sure if I paid attention to whatever Family Guy dork forums are out there, I'd hear similar gripings to mine. But I figured what the hell, I'll give it one last shot.

I regretted that decision immediately. What in holy hell was that Star Wars BS for the season premier? They didn't even parody Star Wars really (yeah like that hasn't been done a million times anyways). They just re-did all of A New Hope, only animated and with Family Guy characters.

Tonight's episode was even more unbearable. I think the only time I laughed was when Peter put on his Donald Duck "costume." Even that was a bit forced. More and more when I watch, I find myself saying "What the HELL is this? For Christ's sake, somebody throw a freakin pie!" I just watch it, dumbfounded and stricken with horror at what complete un-enjoyable mess the show has become. Will somebody please tell Seth MacFarlane, or whatever poor bastard is writing the show now, that the constant "jokes" that take 5 long painful deadpan minutes to tell (ie, Chris and the store clerk talking about movies -- omg a Clerks reference AHA AHAHAHAHAHA OMG MAKE IT STOP) and hammer blatantly into the ground are NOT FUNNY and make the show PAINFUL to watch? Do they even care?

Maybe their popularity on Adult Swim has gone to their heads. Maybe now they are just catering the shows to whatever tardbags think Squidbillies and 12 oz Mouse are funny.

I don't know, I really don't. I think the whole cartoons for adults thing has most definitely imploded and destroyed everything remotely funny on it's way to oblivion.

The only good thing to come out of tonight's episode was the dropping of the horrible Gillian character played by drew fat whorebag berrymore. Jesus god that character was such a horrible abomination. Now if they'd only get rid of the old peg leg pirate guy who stopped being funny the second time he appeared. And what the hell, why is the old pedophile neighbor guy a regular character now? I hate to bring up the Simpsons comparison again, but they didn't start basing episodes around one-liner gag characters (Gil) until season freaking 18!

ughhhhh
I got so weirded out by the horribleness of tonight's Family Guy that I changed the channel half way through to watch Ken Burns' "The War." That's how freaking bad it was!

I once compared the now terrible Simpsons episodes to a person you've been friends with for a while -- but then that person goes and makes a complete ass out of themselves, and you feel embarrassed for ever having known them. Family Guy is most certainly that friend now. Except pretend that this "friend" also ran over your dog and raped your sister.

9.26.2007

question #2

This isn't so much a serious question, I just hate riding the metro.
So uh, why does the Metro ALWAYS smell like a combination of burning plastic and feces? Are there always people smoking crack and smearing shit on the walls down there when I'm not looking?
It's the worst on really hot days. For obvious reasons, yes -- but also because they sometimes have these huge fans set up blowing towards the gates. Their hearts are in the right spot, but what it amounts to is you getting a face-full of the foulest smelling air outside of a rendering plant.

9.25.2007

question 1

Does anybody know what the hell the deal is with double zippers? I wore one of my jackets today since it's freezing in the mornings now, and it has one of them doohickies on it. For those of you confused as to what I'm talking about here's a picture:


It's the most useless thing in the universe. You can unzip your jacket from bottom to top -- oh boy! I've always needed to do that!
I've never in my life seen anyone wearing a jacket or coat in that manner. So what the hell are these things for? I'd look like a jackass with my jacket zipped halfway up from the bottom, plus I'd be cold, thereby defeating the purpose of wearing a jacket.
The only thing they serve to do is to make it a pain in the ass to zip up your jacket. That's it.
I have another jacket with a single zipper on it. Guess what, it works great! It's a fantastic system!
But my double zipper jacket has nothing but problems when it comes to zipping up.

9.21.2007

About this "Jena 6" nonsense

So, I've gotten wind of this Jena 6 crap that's been plaguing all forms of media of late. I think the whole situation is pretty goddamn stupid and I don't understand why so many people are up in arms about it.

The way I understand the situation (and please correct me if I'm wrong), is that at some jerkwater high school in Louisiana, some black kid sat under a tree where white kids normally sit (wow! what a rebel! I sure am glad I don't live in the goddamn stupid boring south where stuff like this is newsworthy). So then the stupid hick white kids get mad about that and, as a clearly well-thought-out "prank," they string a bunch of nooses on the tree. So then later on, six black kids beat the living crap out of one white kid (I'm guessing he was one of the kids who carried out the noose prank?). The black kids are charged with attempted murder, which has since been reduced to assault and battery.

So what the fuck is the big deal? Why are black people so goddamn outraged over this? I understand them being outraged over the noose "prank," but why the hell are they outraged over people being punished for a brutal crime? I guess the attempted murder charge was overblown, but it's been reduced, so why doesn't everyone stop whining?

The way I see it is, if six guys beat the shit out of ONE other guy, then those six guys should be sent to jail. End of goddamn story. Who gives a crap what races are involved?

Also, sure the noose deally can be classified as a hate crime, but then, isn't six black guys beating a white guy for racially motivated reasons also a hate crime -- and a worse one at that? What, are only white people capable of being racist or something? In my opinion, retaliating to a hate crime in such a manner makes you no better than the bigots on the other side of the issue.

So why the hell is everyone defending these morons? If six white guys beat the crap out of a black guy, I don't think white people everywhere would be going apeshit trying to defend the white assaulter's. In fact, the only way I could understand black people being outraged is if it were that six white guys beat up a black guy and the white guys WEREN'T being punished for it.
Where is the issue here?
Am I just completely missing something, or is it more likely that everyone is a goddamn moron and once again black people are making themselves look like idiots by defending someone *cough* OJ *cough* who doesn't need to be defended?

Don't get me wrong, I mean, I saw the picture of the douchebag who got beaten up. Anybody who looks like that probably deserves a good beating. But come on, hasn't this whole thing gotten a bit out of hand? I mean, giant protest rallies being organized at colleges across the US? Don't we have more important crap to be worried about? Like, oh, I dunno, the possibility of us invading Iran while having two concurrent uncontrollable wars going on already?