Survey Proves What All of Us Have Known for Years

Coming under the heading of "I could've told you that..." a recent survey has found Philadelphia to be the most unattractive city in the US.

Full "story" here:

Somewhat surprisingly to me, DC came in second. Frankly I think there's a LOT of hot chicks around here (albeit all conceited whores). I guess it's the disproportionate amount of hideous politicians that set us back.


Local Baby Declared TEH WINNAR!

My friend alerted me to a hilarious news headline this morning:

Two years after US soldier's death, widow has his son

and no, it wasn't from The Onion.
There is something quite obviously wrong with that statement. After reading the actual story it wasn't nearly as funny as I had hoped -- it had to do with artificial insemination. This brings me to my real point:
I don't mean to diss the grieving widow of a soldier, but come on lady, what's wrong with you? You are essentially forcing your child to grow up without a father -- and you had a choice about it!
It's one thing if you were already pregnant and dad goes off and dies unexpectedly, but for him to die, and THEN you decide to impregnate yourself with his kid? What the fuck? I really fail to see how that honors him.

Anyways, after seeing the picture that accompanied the article, I came up with a more appropriate headline (which is what the title of this post is). Apparently this mongoloid baby is the spitting image of his dad too... yeesh... poor guy.


This woman is freakin awesome

This might be the first non-rant in my blog. I thought I could break format for a bit to give this woman more deserved accolades. Thankyou Mona for doing what so many of us feel like doing all the time.
Read the article here
(note: you might have to sign up to washingtonpost.com to read the full thing)

Who says senior citizens are useless? (well...I have on a couple occasions, but that's besides the point)

The only thing I can add is it would've been even more awesome if she went Oldboy on their asses. But then I guess she might be doing hard time, which would really suck for an old lady.

Between this and Wii, old people are kickin ass lately!

Someone actually gets paid for this crap?

Is it just me or have company slogans been getting stupider? Take for example Radio Shack's latest work of genius:
"Do Stuff."
What the HELL is that? Do I even have to explain how incredibly moronic that is? The scariest part is they probably paid some big advertising firm thousands of dollars to come up with it. The only excuse I could think of is that maybe they were trying to rip off something in the style of Nike's "Just Do It," but they failed miserably. In my mind, Radio Shack is about the lowest level electronics store anyways, but this slogan just brings them down to a whole new level of mind-boggling inanity. On their advertisements, this slogan is denoted as a Service Mark (SM). After reading the definition of an SM this makes no sense to me, as I would hardly consider the pseudo-sentence-fragment "Do Stuff" to be a service. Just the idea of trademarking such a stupid and basic phrase makes me want to punch somebody. Maybe this low level of brain-drudgery appeals to the morons who actually do things like buy cell phone plans at Radio Shack and are somehow duped into getting a sales commission for one of the sweaty Gil-esque salesdorks.

Family Guy sucks ass, addendum

I was elated to find out that someone else hates the bowel churning circus of feces that Family Guy has become. In an October issue of The Onion, Amelie Gillette (better known as "The Hater") writes (much more eloquently than my frustrated ramblings I might add):

Stop letting Family Guy do whatever it wants, especially when that means an hourlong Star Wars parody...
...[you shouldn't] just let Family Guy run all over the network with its pointless pop-culture non sequiturs and parodies that are at least 30 years too late. Honestly, a Star Wars parody? That's 60 minutes long? And contains a Grey Poupon reference/non-joke? Please put an end to this before American Dad is allowed to run a two-hour satire of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video that also contains a recreation of the "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" Alka Seltzer commercial from 20 years ago for no reason.

well put
avclub.com/thehater for more gold


fuck you nVidia

Why the fuck do you jackasses have to keep changing the control panel interface in subsequent driver releases?! WHY!?!!?!? What the fuck is wrong with you? Nobody anywhere likes the changes! They all want it to look and function the old way. Do you assholes ever look at your forums? They are full of people who don't like it.

I don't see the point of oversimplifying and making a restrictive interface. The only people who are going to be tinkering with it are the ones who are very knowledgeable about computers and probably built their own machines. So there is no goddamned point in having an interface like that. The only point would be if the layman was doing those things, which they aren't.

Here's why I'm so mad: I have a graphics card that came factory overclocked (don't buy XFX cards, they blow). Unfortunately, this causes mad issues with games (ie, my computer fucking crashes to restart). After a while, my friend let me in on a fix to this. You get this thing called CoolBits, and it adds information to your registry that lets you adjust the clock settings from the nVidia control panel. Except now that they've completely changed the control panel, guess what, I can't fucking do that anymore! So now, of course, the crashes have started again. I have to choose between having the latest drivers and living with constant crashes, or rolling back the driver and not having any crashes. I think I'm going to roll back the driver. Eat shit nVidia. Stop fucking with stuff that doesn't need to be fucked with!

ps: your stupid nTune app fucking sucks. It claims that it will let me change the clock speeds on the card. Well I guess you didn't bother to fucking update it with the new CP interface, because all it does is take me to the CP page for the 3D app settings. NOT WHAT I WANTED! It doesn't do ANYTHING!


Something Is Rotten In the City of Arlington

Every night for the past week or so, there has been a foul stench in the air in Arlington, Virginia. It is distinctly the smell of sewage. So, does Arlington have a sewage problem? The curious thing is that the smell only arises at night. Last night it was particularly foul.

I realize this is my second post in a week about malodorous scents. Before you start thinking that I'm just some oversensitive assbag, I did confirm this with my coworker who also lives in Arlington. He too has smelled an overpowering sewage stench hanging in the air recently.

So what the deal is?
I'm gonna see if I can find anything on the Arlington County website, cause this has to stop. It's plenty cool out so I leave my windows open at night, but then the terrible smell wafts on it.