11.07.2007

I hate that fucking verizon FIOS kid

For the love of God, please take this creepy fucking pumpkin-headed Chucky-doll little shit off the air. Whatever casting director or advertising exec thought he was "cute" or "endearing" needs to be bludgeoned to death. If there's one thing I hate in advertising (aside from those pompous Apple commercials of late -- rant soon to come), it's precocious little fuckwads hocking a product with their over saturated vomit-inducing "cute innocence." This little monster is about the worst thing to come along in this department since that freakish troll who did the Pepsi ads years ago. Thank Christ she fell off the face of the earth.

I fail to see anything remotely cute about this kid. He is incredibly creepy, and outright retarded looking, with his special-needs bowl cut that calls even more attention (if it were possible) to his giant misshapen football head.

Actually, you know what he looks like, he looks like fucking Gollum from LOTR. Why would you want that freak selling your product?



As long as I'm ranting about this horrible ad campaign, here's another thing. Why the fuck has that Verizon technician been installing the same thing in this family's home for the better part of a year? Exactly how goddamn long does it take to set up FIOS? What the FUCK is "true quam" anyways!? Good lord I hate these commercials. If that douchenozzle was hanging about my house for THAT long, spending entirely too much time talking with my fuck-ugly kid, I would call the cops on the pederast right quick.

I digress -- my point is, get rid of this demon-child, standing around with that stupid look of confusion on his fat little creepy face. I really hope this is his only line of major commercials.

I'm guessing that the people who were market-tested as liking these commercials are the same tardbags who keep the Family Circus in print, which also centers around fat-headed mentally challenged little bastards.

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