stupid office shit tuesday may first

Me: so according to the old hag who fiercely monitors the hallways, it would be a safety risk if I used the microwave in the room that it's now sitting in because there is no goddamn kitchen
Coworker: what the hell?
Coworker: i didnt know there was a hall monitor
Coworker: and how is that a safety risk
Me: i think shes self appointed
Me: I have no idea
Coworker: good for her. crazy bitch
Me: so I had to walk 3 miles down the hall to the other mystery breakroom that has one of those crappy microwaves that doesnt rotate
Me: so now one half of my food is cold
Coworker: you should have just used the microwave anyway
Me: she kicked me out of the room and locked the door
Coworker: what the hell?
Me: and she seemed pretty upset that I was even considering doing it
Me: she also yelled at some other lady who works here who apparently went into that room to get a cup
Coworker: where is the microwave now anyway
Coworker: and is that her office or something?
Me: i dont know
Me: it's now on the floor in an empty room next to the room they are building the new kitchen in
Me: I dont know why they didnt just bring it out into the lobby with the goddamn soda machine
Coworker: that is weird and retarded
Me: or leave it in the same room' that the refrigerator is still in
Me: also they apparently threw out all the forks and spoons
Coworker: shit
Me: good news is the other kitchen had a pepper shaker
Me: that i stoke
Me: stole
Coworker: sweet

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